hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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