just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I don't deserve a penis
The uberlube is also flammable
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
