This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
