i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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