Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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