She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
