Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
