I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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