Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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