Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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