Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
