so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
