Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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