the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
