why didn't you poke me back
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
