just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
