make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Randomize