I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
