she was so not down for the gang bang
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
