I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
