I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
