it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
