Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
