he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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