Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
