Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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