is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
