My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
