I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
