Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
