The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
