I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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