I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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