Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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