The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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