just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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