She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
