Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He better not be in your backpack
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
this hospital has no fireball
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
