He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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