Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
