I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
