there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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