He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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