come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
