i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
