I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
