He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
