If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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