Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
