Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
