It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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